Open Your Heart to Get the Body You Want

I was deeply moved last night when Jodie Rodenbaugh got vulnerable for the first time publicly sharing how past abuse impacted her body–even before her husband was killed. (If you want to hear this healing story, sign up in the next 24 hours and I’ll send you the recording: http://loveyourwayslim.com/beautiful-inside-and-out/) Our powerful conversation gave me some clarity on my own body issues. Last year, I shared my healing story around the abuse from my father to help others find peace when emotions were so high after the the shootings in Sandyhook. I’m sharing that blog again here. What Jodie opened my eyes to was there was a lot more for me to process–abuse and sexual confusion that came from outside the home. It is common for women who suffered abuse to also struggle with their weight. If the very men who are supposed to love and protect you violate that trust, you are left to protect yourself any way you can. Often a wall of fat is created to keep men away. But that wall also keeps the pain trapped inside. On Saturday, I’ll be writing more about my experiences and the “aha” I had talking with Jodie. In the meantime, it is my intention that sharing this part of my story will be a gift to help on your own road to healing.   Have you ever shut your heart to someone? I know I have. Withholding love is a very common reaction when people are not living up to your expectations, or you truly believe what they are doing is wrong. With what happened in Connecticut last week, you may believe that there are things that people have done that are plain unforgivable. It can be easy […]

Isn’t Life Delicious?

  While I’m getting ready to head to Charleston, South Carolina, to lead the Love Your Way Slim Beachside Retreat next week, I thought I would share one of my favorite blogs.   DELICIOUS adj \di-ˈli-shəs\ 1: affording great pleasure: delightful 2: appealing to one of the bodily senses especially of taste or smell Merriam-Webster Why do you eat? For very few people is it just to give their bodies the vital nutrients they need to sustain life. For women who struggle with their weight, eating is often their primary source of pleasure, comfort, satisfaction, and even experience of love. This is why diets cause such feelings of deprivation. Who wants to live a life void of pleasurable feelings? Certainly not me! And you don’t have to. All that’s happened is that over time—and for a variety of valid reasons—you have shut yourself off from sources of satisfaction, comfort, and love because they have also been sources of pain, dissatisfaction, and loneliness. The lover who broke your heart, the friend who betrayed you, the parent or boss who tried to control you sent you to the one obvious and consistent source of comfort—food. It was a totally normal reaction. Food is delicious. It’s pleasurable, satisfying, and comforting. And it’s easy. But it’s also betrayed you. It’s caused you to gain weight. It’s negatively impacted your health. Its momentary comfort is completely outweighed by the overwhelming feelings of guilt and self-loathing that it now causes. It’s no longer giving you what you were seeking in the first place—those pleasurable feelings. It’s time to begin looking for these feelings in the only place they will be given consistently. From the only place you can truly count on […]

You Are So Beautiful!

While I’m getting ready to head to Charleston, South Carolina, to lead the Love Your Way Slim Beachside Retreat next week, I thought I would share one of my favorite blogs.     What is beautiful to you? Does it involve a certain body weight or shape? A certain wellness level? When you look in the mirror do you see your definition of beauty smiling back? I often hear people focused on wanting to change how others see women and judge beauty. There is much frustration that women on television and in ads are significantly thinner than average. People point to pundits’ criticisms of specific bodies. There are many photos of past sex symbols who were less than lean tied to complaints about the changing definition of beauty. But how likely is it that you are going to change society, or the modeling, television, or advertising industries? Wouldn’t it be easier to focus on your own judgments and definition of beauty? Until you are so pure in your appreciation of every woman’s body and beauty that a critical thought is never entertained, until your actions align 100 percent with your personal definition of wellness, and you can look in the mirror with not only appreciation but adoration, you have no power to change anyone else. You may want others to deem you—or more women—as beautiful, but before that can happen, you must judge yourself as beautiful first. And you must allow everyone else to have their own definition of beauty. This is the sticking point for most women. You have to stop looking outside of you for self-esteem, appreciation, and acceptance. Those are things you have to give to yourself. It is only when you […]

10 Ways to Improve Your Day

While I’m in Charleston, South Carolina, this week participating in and presenting a couple of workshops, I thought I would share a few of my favorite blogs. This one is from the fabulous Kristin Barton Cuthriell. Smile at everyone you meet. Write down at least two things that you are grateful for today. Do something physical. (Get rid of the excuses. My friend who works out regularly will be running three miles, while my aunt who has had a stroke, will be sitting in a chair doing her foot exercises. One is not more difficult than the other. They both will be pushing themselves appropriately. What can you do?) Drink plenty of water. Do something nice for someone else. (This does not have to be time-consuming. Sometimes it does not take a whole lot of effort to improve someone else’s day.) Plan something that you will look forward to doing. (An evening walk, a dinner out, a vacation.) Set and accomplish a goal. (Yes, accomplishing this list definitely counts.) When you become upset or frustrated, remember that whatever it is that is bothering you may not matter next year, next month, or even tomorrow. Pray Take at least fifteen minutes to do something that you find relaxing. (Observing nature, talking a walk, meditating, taking a warm bath, listening to music….) Let go of bitterness today and let life in. Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed, MSW, LCSW Kristin is a licensed psychotherapist and educator currently working in private practice, counseling individuals, couples, and families. She utilizes a hope based cognitive behavior approach to therapy and other empirically validated treatments to help individuals suffering from depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and difficult life transitions. Prior to entering the mental health field, Kristin spent a decade teaching first, […]

Inspiration for Today

While I’m in Charleston, South Carolina, this week participating in and presenting at a couple of workshops, I thought I would share a few of my favorite blogs. This one is from the fabulous Kristin Barton Cuthriell. Today Today I will live with integrity. Today I will reflect on what it is that I truly value. Today I will make an effort to make my actions match my values and beliefs. Today I will remind myself that living with integrity brings peace of mind. Today I will not dwell on mistakes that I have made in the past, but I will acknowledge the lessons that I have learned. Today I will open my eyes to the good things that surround me. Today I will pause long enough to appreciate today. Related articles Suze Orman: How to Be Happy Every Day (everydayhealth.com) ‘You’re off to great places, today is your day. Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way.’ Dr Seuss #quote #inspiration #taolife (the1minuteblogger.wordpress.com) inspired by the rain. (belovelive.com) Today! (magicalportal.wordpress.com) One More (sociallyfitblog.wordpress.com) How to get the inspiration (speedupyoursuccess.net) Inspiration today (weheartfun.wordpress.com) Inspiration: All Is Well… (eof737.wordpress.com) 101 Most #Inspiring #Quotes of All Time (kymies3.wordpress.com) Inspirational Theme for the Day =) (livethelist.me) Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed, MSW, LCSW Kristin is a licensed psychotherapist and educator currently working in private practice, counseling individuals, couples, and families. She utilizes a hope based cognitive behavior approach to therapy and other empirically validated treatments to help individuals suffering from depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and difficult life transitions. Prior to entering the mental health field, Kristin spent a decade teaching first, third, and sixth grades. She received a BA in Education from Virginia Tech and went on to earn her Master’s in […]

Don’t Let Them Stop You

While I’m in Charleston, South Carolina, this week participating in and presenting a couple of workshops, I thought I would share a few of my favorite blogs. This one is from the fabulous Kristin Barton Cuthriell. “Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing. “ -Aristotle You have a purpose. There is work to be done. You can do it. There is fun to be had. You can have it. There are people to love. You can love them. There are quiet moments to enjoy. You can enjoy them. There is love to be received. You can receive it. There is life worth experiencing. You can experience it. No matter what you do, there may always be someone out there who finds fault in you. The truth is… we all have faults. The truth is… we can always find a critic. Are you going to allow those critics or the critic that lives within you to hold you back from living your best life? Work hard, play hard, take time to rest, pray, and let life in. When you live with integrity, you can ignore the critic. Related articles • Appreciation Is The Language of the Soul (mothermaryswords.wordpress.com) • The love you give is the love you receive. (positive-thoughts.typepad.com) • The inner Critic (wellnessspirit.wordpress.com)   Kristin Barton Cuthriell, M.Ed, MSW, LCSW Kristin is a licensed psychotherapist and educator currently working in private practice, counseling individuals, couples, and families. She utilizes a hope based cognitive behavior approach to therapy and other empirically validated treatments to help individuals suffering from depression, anxiety, relationship issues, and difficult life transitions. Prior to entering the mental health field, Kristin spent a decade teaching […]

Truth or Consequences . . .

While I’m in Charleston, South Carolina, this week participating in and presenting at a couple of workshops, I thought I would share a couple of my favorite blogs. This one is from my fabulous friend and mentor, Jennifer Barley. The theme right now in my house is action. Making decisions and taking action. Moving forward. Getting clarity about the goals and figuring out how to make those plans come alive. It feels good. And I am now feeling like a student of action. I am studying what makes us move, what creates flow, and what stops us dead in our tracks. Today—let’s talk about consequences. As long as you want the benefits (of the goal) with no consequence—you will always stay stuck. Everything has consequences. People may judge you, people may not approve, you might outgrow people in your life. You might lose money. You might have to re-paint. You might be vulnerable. You might get hurt. Instead, focus on what “might” happen if you do fulfill your goal. You might be empowered. You might go to the next level. You might fully love. You might meet new people. You might feel fulfilled. You might help others. You might feel better than you have in years. Focus on the benefits of the goal—and risk the consequences. You are capable of handling the “might” consequences—and you deserve to have the “might” benefits. Tony Robbins, the master of motivation, has The Ultimate Success Formula: 1. Know your outcome. 2. Get yourself to take action by deciding to do so. 3. Notice what you’re getting from your actions. 4. If what you are doing is not working, change your approach. Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Where are you […]

By |July 23rd, 2012|Action, Reblog|0 Comments

Want A Money-Back Guarantee on Life?

While attending a workshop in Sedona, Arizona, over the next few days, I am sharing a few of my favorite blogs that you may have missed. What if wellness and well-being had a money-back guarantee? What if it was absolutely and completely yours if you would be present and willing to accept receipt? That you could check in any time you wanted and determine where your wellness and well-being was along its journey of coming to you? That it wasn’t a matter of if, only a matter of when you would have it? Would that give you more confidence and help you relax about its coming? Would it inspire you to take the few small actions that will help you prepare for it? Would you more easily be able to stay focused on the life you are creating, and feel more excited or eager about its coming? What if accepting that guarantee as true is the only thing keeping optimal wellness and well-being from you? So consider this your shipping notice from the All-That-Is Transphysical Universal Delivery System (ATITUDS). The life of your dreams is on its way to you—guaranteed. The first step in scheduling your delivery is just relaxing and enjoying the knowledge that it’s coming. To prepare for delivery, you’ll want to clear the way, which might look like reaching for healthier foods, moving your body, or taking whatever action you feel is necessary on your part to become Who you want to be. You’ll want to disregard any notices of delay as spam—these may be internal fears or limiting beliefs, or the disbelief of others. Instead, you’ll receive non-stop guidance of where your delivery is through your emotions. Positive, anabolic emotions are […]

Just Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should

While attending a workshop in Sedona, Arizona, over the next few days, I am sharing a few of my favorite blogs. Today’s blog is from my friend, mentor, and coach, Jennifer Barley. Many of us have many abilities. Those talents, skills, things that come oh-so-easy, resources, tools, and the “can-do” characteristics that ooze from every cell of our bodies. However, just because I can do something, doesn’t mean I should. I often take on projects under the guise of, “Well, if I don’t do it, what is going to happen to the person, the project, the group, the goal?” or “Well, I can just bang it out, why not?” The why not is because I no longer want to spend my time, energy, and talents on the things that do not bring me joy. I want to stay in alignment with my vision, my focus, and my limited time. Saying No or Saying Yes is something I have been working on for years. However, I observed myself losing my footing when I saw that a local organization clearly could use some good leadership, and could really benefit from some marketing, program development, and a good ‘ol swift “I can so do this” kick in the pants. All of a sudden, I found my name up on the flip chart next to the name of a committee. Then I remembered my “three-day rule.” Since I tend to get overly enthused in the moment, any time I am asked or have the inkling to volunteer my time, I give myself three days to think it over—how much time is needed, what would I need to contribute, what kind of support would there be, is this something I […]

By |June 21st, 2012|Reblog|3 Comments

How You Show Up For Anything Is How You Show Up For Everything

While attending a workshop in Sedona, Arizona, over the next few days, I am sharing a few of my favorite blogs. Today’s blog is from my friend, mentor, and coach, Jennifer Barley. Here she gives us another take on expectations than I provided in Monday’s blog. How do you think expectations serve you and limit you? How possible is it for the answer to be both? How we show up for one thing resembles how we show up for everything. We carry our beliefs and attitudes everywhere with us. If we are looking for trouble, we find trouble. If we expect a conversation to go badly, it usually goes badly. If we enter with an air of exploration, we explore. If we are focused on incompetence, we find incompetence. Basically, we are just trying to prove ourselves right. By doing so, we get the ego boost to say, “A-ha! I was right . . . this is so lame. . . so amazing. . . so beneath me.” Fill in the blank. What you expect to get out of a situation usually comes true. The question is–why do you have so many expectations? How do you carry those expectations into various situations? How does having expectations actually cause disappointment? If you are constantly disappointed, how are your showing up? If you are skeptical, do you focus on the things that aren’t measuring up? It is so easy to default to focusing on the negative–why things won’t work, how you wish they were different, how other people annoy you–the list can go on and on. What if you showed up with no expectations and just experienced the experience. No judging if it is good or bad. […]

By |June 20th, 2012|Reblog|1 Comment