Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. -Albert Einstein You know “how” to diet and exercise. If you are like most women who have lost and regained the same 30 pounds over and over again, you have the “what you need to do” down. But even if you are able to consistently eat healthy foods and move your body, you still struggle to maintain your weight. Clearly, diet and exercise alone are not getting you the results you want. What is it that you need to do differently to get different results? The answer almost seems too simple. You may want to ignore it or even discount it. But it is truly what is holding you back from having the body—and life—you want. What has to change is what is going on inside. What has to change are your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs about yourself, what you are capable of, what you deserve. Ultimately what it boils down to is that you have to learn to love yourself. To do this, you have to let go of fear. Every feeling is either a derivative of love or fear. What has happened over time is that you have emotionally caged yourself in with fear. Fear of being judged by others, letting people down, not being good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, making mistakes, not being loved or lovable—the list goes on and on. It may have gotten bad enough that when something really good does happen in your life, you can feel a part of you holding back from fully enjoying the experience. You may have thoughts like: “Something bad might happen.” “It won’t last.” “They’re going to find out I’m a fraud.” What’s actually happening here is that you are […]
Tips for Managing A Diet Disaster
You just ate a cookie. (OK 5.) Now What? Often, the women I work with think things like, “I’ve blown it. I might as well eat whatever I want.” Or your try to get back on track but feel your self-control slipping away. Or you just give up altogether. It’s a familiar place and it feels hopeless. You may feel that not being “perfect” on your diet or exercise program means starting over from the beginning. The resulting negative assault on your mind, body, and spirit feels terrible! Even if it’s not out-and-out mental self-abuse, there is probably a slight undercurrent of negative thoughts and feelings (guilt, worry, helplessness, self-doubt, blame) that results from your less than stellar food choices. Pay attention to these thoughts and emotions! You have to be aware of them to shift them. This is how you ultimately break the rebound weight-gain cycle—for good. Often, it’s helpful to acknowledge that optimal wellness is about taking care of you for the long-run. Yes, you want to lose weight as quickly as possible, but your wellness goals will not end there. What are the reasons you want to release the weight once and for all? Maybe you want to rock a swimsuit or little black dress. But it goes a lot deeper than just wanting to look good. Maybe you are tired of watching from the sidelines as your family has fun without you. Maybe you want the health and vitality to play with your pets, kids, or grand-kids. Maybe you want to be the best wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, etc., you can be. Maybe you just want to consistently feel good physically. Maybe you want the strength and stamina to live […]
You Wouldn’t Want It If It Were Too Easy
There may be a part of you that thinks, “I don’t want any obstacles in life.” You want everything to be easy. You want instant gratification. You want to lose weight—and you want it now. What if having it be too easy means that you are missing out on the very best parts of life? Having instant manifestation would be like only reading the first and last page of a novel, or fast forwarding to the end of the movie. Isn’t reading the middle of the book where all the juicy and delicious parts are that makes the end satisfying? Isn’t seeing the whole movie why you pay the price of admission? It is the same with life. You really DO want all those bits in-between your initial desire for something and your having achieved it. It is the journey where life is happening, not just the end where you have lost 30 pounds. Here’s the truth. There is more to the weight-loss process than enduring the hardship long-enough to get slim. Believe it or not, there is life and fun and joy happening on your way to achieving the body you want. But it does take a slight shift in perspective to see it. And here is one of the secrets to losing the weight—and keeping it off. You have to shift your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs so that you start to enjoy the weight-loss journey. Ah, what a terrible price to pay. You have to enjoy where you are to get where you want to go. Really it’s an absolute and total gift! It is the challenges and obstacles that we overcome that are the most exhilarating. It is in the becoming […]
The Easiest Way to Claim Your Wellness
Imagine for a moment that you are living with the body you want. You wake up in the morning feeling good. Your body is full of peaceful energy. As you stretch, you appreciate every cell, bone, muscle, tendon, and fiber of your magnificent body. Your heart is full of love and appreciation not only for your body, but for all the wonderful people, things, and experiences in your life, and you feel truly content. As you think about the day ahead, you are excited and inspired. You know you have the physical energy and strength to accomplish everything you want to do. As you visualize your work it seems so much more like play! You know you will be so engaged during the day that time seems to disappear. Feeling energized and eager to get started, you practically jump out of bed. As you dress, you notice not only how good your body feels, but how good you look. Your clothes fit well and you feel confident and comfortable. As you look in the mirror you appreciate that you just seem to radiate wellness and wellbeing. As you head out the door, someone you haven’t seen in a while is passing by. They exclaim about how amazing you look. You tell them that you feel even better—body, mind, and spirit—and how everything is always working out for you. They are full of admiration for the changes you’ve made and ask questions about how you’ve made this transformation. As you head to work, your doctor calls to report on the blood work you had done a few days ago as part of a routine physical exam. She is thrilled to report everything is perfect! All […]
Ask For What You Need to Get the Body You Want
As I was working out this morning, I got really clear on some old hurts. Memories of not feeling seen, loved, appreciated, and supported came back with full force. I burst into tears and absolutely wept. In the past, I’ve pushed down the emotions around these memories. I did this because: I felt expressing my emotions was unsafe and unvalued when I was a kid. I became afraid of the emotions and I didn’t want to feel them, so I hid them well. I “got” intellectually the spiritual concept that there is no need forgive because there are no mistakes. Every experience has value. And this is absolutely true. But this was still a way of covering up those old emotions—that were (and are) still there. It covered up the fear that I am not valuable. I am not worth being seen. I am not lovable. People—and the very Universe—will not support me. All of this is coming back up for me because I’m stepping out in a new and big way with this blog, with my business—in my life. And that little girl inside me has been throwing a fit. She has been letting me know with everything she has that this is Not Safe. She has been trying to prove to me that: It is not safe to be seen. That I am not appreciated. That I am not loved. That I am not supported. She has been saying, “Look, here is the evidence.” The lack of comments and feedback on this blog is evidence. Missed appointments and unfulfilled expectations with a mentor is evidence. Not getting the support I asked for from a group is evidence. The list goes on and on. But of course these […]
Open Your Heart to Get the Body You Want
I was deeply moved last night when Jodie Rodenbaugh got vulnerable for the first time publicly sharing how past abuse impacted her body–even before her husband was killed. (If you want to hear this healing story, sign up in the next 24 hours and I’ll send you the recording: http://loveyourwayslim.com/beautiful-inside-and-out/) Our powerful conversation gave me some clarity on my own body issues. Last year, I shared my healing story around the abuse from my father to help others find peace when emotions were so high after the the shootings in Sandyhook. I’m sharing that blog again here. What Jodie opened my eyes to was there was a lot more for me to process–abuse and sexual confusion that came from outside the home. It is common for women who suffered abuse to also struggle with their weight. If the very men who are supposed to love and protect you violate that trust, you are left to protect yourself any way you can. Often a wall of fat is created to keep men away. But that wall also keeps the pain trapped inside. On Saturday, I’ll be writing more about my experiences and the “aha” I had talking with Jodie. In the meantime, it is my intention that sharing this part of my story will be a gift to help on your own road to healing. Have you ever shut your heart to someone? I know I have. Withholding love is a very common reaction when people are not living up to your expectations, or you truly believe what they are doing is wrong. With what happened in Connecticut last week, you may believe that there are things that people have done that are plain unforgivable. It can be easy […]
How to Make Today a Good Day . . . So You Get a Great Body
About 10 years ago, I had a friend whose husband died unexpectedly while they were getting ready for work. He literally died in her arms. I couldn’t imagine going through an experience much worse than that. Not long after, I asked how she was doing. Her response was, “I’m having a few bad moments in otherwise good days.” That struck me not only in the heart, but in the head. If she wasn’t allowing the sudden and traumatic death of her husband to bring her down, what excuse did I have for complaining about anything going on in my life? It was my first “aha” that what I focus on is a choice. I was often letting one bad experience ruin my whole day. And I didn’t have to. What I didn’t realize at the time was how important that realization was to my wellness. Dwelling on negative events—past, present, or potential—impacts your body. Your negative thoughts—about everything—releases the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other harmful chemicals that over time deteriorate your body at the cellular level. This stress reaction can play a part in problems such as headaches, diabetes, skin conditions, asthma, arthritis, depression, and anxiety. Over time, chronic stress impacts your: Immune system, making it more likely that you will get sick more often. Heart. Stress is linked to high blood pressure, abnormal heartbeat and hardening of the arteries, as well as coronary artery disease, heart attack, and heart failure. Muscles. Constant tension from stress can lead to neck, shoulder, and low back pain, and can also make rheumatoid arthritis worse. If you already have a health problem, stress can make it worse. Seventy-five to 90 percent of all doctor’s office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints. Chronic negative thoughts and […]
The 3 Keys to My Personal Transformation
From August 1, 2008 to August 1, 2009, I went from wearing a size 8 and running and working out regularly to busting out of size 14 pants and not working out at all. After years of consistent exercise, I couldn’t believe I was starting over from scratch–again. I was really struggling with getting back on track. While I hated where I was, I just couldn’t seem to find the energy to pull myself out of bed in the morning and move. Three things were key to my turning around that situation. Accountability. Support is vital. Having a friend, coach, or group to turn to is huge! Progress not perfection. Counting every single thing you do during the day that could even be remotely considered part of a healthy lifestyle builds positive momentum. Mindset training. Shifting your thoughts from hating where you are to focusing on why you want to be fit, strong, and slim is the true secret to long-term weight-loss success. Here’s how I did it. I checked in with an accountability partner every day to cheer each tiny success and reframe any “stumbles.” I set small, attainable goals for how much time I would move my body. Starting with a goal of just 10 minutes a day, I counted walking the dogs, vigorous vacuuming, and even a long walk across a parking lot to my car. I literally counted anything and everything that involved moving. A few weeks of meeting that minimal goal and I bumped it up to 20 minutes, and so on. And I wrote out all the reasons WHY I wanted to be fit, strong, and slim on index cards—and I read them everyday to retrain my brain while […]
How’s That Working Out for You?
While I’m leading the Love Your Way Slim Beachside Retreat this week, I thought I would share a couple of my favorite blogs. “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” Albert Einstein What if the entire Universe is conspiring on your behalf? What if you have tribes of Universal cheerleaders supporting you in every conceivable way? What if no matter what may be happening in your life right now, everything is playing in your favor? If you fully accepted that this is a friendly Universe, would you give up a little control? If you knew everything was working out for you, would you relax and let go of fear? Would you allow yourself to have more fun? Would you be open to taking more risks? If you believe that this is a hostile Universe, letting go of control can be one of the scariest things you can do. It’s like putting yourself at the mercy of the enemy. I know because I used to believe the Universe was out to get me. I couldn’t get a break. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was a victim to people and situations. It wasn’t until I began giving up control, surrendering, and trusting my well-being that I began to fully experience it. It’s one of those dichotomy’s of life: You have to give up control to gain it. You have to feel appreciated to be able to receive the appreciation of another. You have to feel beautiful before you can hear and believe the compliments you are given. Whatever you believe—the Universe will provide you evidence of that belief. Open your mind and look for all […]
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