While I’m leading the Love Your Way Slim Beachside Retreat this week, I thought I would share a couple of my favorite blogs. This one is from the fabulous Jennifer Barley, who will be my guest May 1 on Beautiful Inside and Out, http://loveyourwayslim.com/beautiful-inside-and-out/ The theme right now in my house is action. Making decisions and taking action. Moving forward. Getting clarity about the goals and figuring out how to make those plans come alive. It feels good. And I am now feeling like a student of action. I am studying what makes us move, what creates flow, and what stops us dead in our tracks. Today—let’s talk about consequences. As long as you want the benefits (of the goal) with no consequence—you will always stay stuck. Everything has consequences. People may judge you, people may not approve, you might outgrow people in your life. You might lose money. You might have to re-paint. You might be vulnerable. You might get hurt. Instead, focus on what “might” happen if you do fulfill your goal. You might be empowered. You might go to the next level. You might fully love. You might meet new people. You might feel fulfilled. You might help others. You might feel better than you have in years. Focus on the benefits of the goal—and risk the consequences. You are capable of handling the “might” consequences—and you deserve to have the “might” benefits. Tony Robbins, the master of motivation, has The Ultimate Success Formula: 1. Know your outcome. 2. Get yourself to take action by deciding to do so. 3. Notice what you’re getting from your actions. 4. If what you are doing is not working, change your approach. Seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Where […]
Self-Soothing vs. Self-Medicating
I still self-medicate with food. When I’m writing and have deadline stress, all of a sudden I feel like I “need” popcorn. It is irrational and powerful and does not let up until I eat some popcorn. So often, overeating is about what’s happening on the inside. It’s reaching for food when you are really seeking love, acceptance, happiness, or comfort in the face of a difficult situation or relationship. My coach has helped me discover that my “pressure cooker” feelings of deadline stress are old limiting beliefs about what I’m capable of. It’s the tyrant inside me—who I have quieted in so many areas of my life—who is still bullying me to perform and be “perfect.” I’m coming up with ways to self-soothe rather than self-medicate with food. I wanted to share this blog by Dr. Anne Nanmoum because I thought she did a fabulous job of describing the difference between self-soothing and self-medicating those painful emotions you may be avoiding by reaching for your favorite comfort food. After a particularly stressful day, a friend of mine noticed that she came home from the grocery store with several items she would not normally buy: a wine cooler, an apple pie, and a gallon of ice cream. “If I keep up with this, I will end up fat and miserable as well as stressed out!” She realized that she needed to come up with a better approach to handling her stress, including ways to “self-soothe” rather than “self-medicate.” The ability to self-soothe rather than self-medicate in the face of stress, anxiety, boredom, or other uncomfortable emotions is an important skill for healthy living. When we don’t have good strategies for self-soothing, we may […]
Beyond Tragedy: A Wake Up Call
Many people are emotionally reeling from the events that happened Friday in Connecticut. In yesterday’s blog, I shared my deeply personal story about the self-healing power of forgiveness—even if we belief the actions of someone are unforgivable. Today, I wanted to share a blog written by my coach, Kendra Thornbury, that outlines how to move forward and create meaning during this challenging time. While these steps are particularly powerful right now, many of these are the same steps you will need to take to clear any internal blocks—including those that are keeping you from getting the body you want. There’s a deep cry that will likely go unheard and get lost in the reactions to the shooting. It’s the cry of the shooter. As horid as his actions were, to not look to the cause of such actions is irresponsible and, frankly, a disgrace to the lives that were lost. It’s imperative to recognize that what transpired is an outcome of a systemic problem. The awful outcry is a demonstration of fear based beliefs gone totally out of control. How do we move forward? How can we create meaning from this? It begins with accepting responsibility for how we each play a part in creating our world. This means… Take full responsibility for being an empowered, whole, at-choice member of our human family. No longer tolerate the kinds of choices and behaviors, even on a small scale, that lead to such eruptions. Raise your standards. It starts with you. 1) Eradicate the violence toward yourself. The truth is that most of us commit acts of violence toward our selves almost every day. You talk negatively, even violently, to yourself. You judge yourself. You tolerate […]
Wake Up to Life to Get the Sleep You Want
While I’m in Sedona, Arizona, attending a business mastermind retreat, I’ve asked a few fabulous coaches to step in with blogs. Today’s guest blog is by Jodie Rodenbaugh. As a coach who works with widows, Jodie embodies the importance of self-care in the face of life’s biggest challenges. While talking to someone yesterday they asked me, “What keeps you up at night?” I thought about this for a second. I know many people who don’t sleep at night or wake up in the middle of the night–and honestly I used to be one of them. Before my husband died, I would toss and turn while he lay there sound asleep. He’d wake up excited for the day at the crack of dawn ready to take it on, saying things to me like, “Come on Babe, it’s a beautiful day to be here. Get up, love me, and be happy!” My response would be something short of a grunt, and his “happy dance” irritated me even more. I never knew how he could fall asleep so fast, stay asleep, and pretty much sleep wherever he laid his head. I never knew why I couldn’t fall asleep, stay asleep, or why the perfect sleeping environment was so important to me. I never knew any of this until I the moment I woke up like I’ve never known awake before. The day my young, vibrant, alive husband was accidentally killed during a “routine” local block anesthesia procedure prior to shoulder surgery. I went to bed that night and slept. Through that first week I wondered why I was able to sleep at a time like this when I had such a difficult time sleeping before. I wanted to […]
Healthy Communication From the Inside Out
While I’m in Sedona, Arizona, attending a business mastermind retreat, I’ve asked a few fabulous bloggers to step in. Today’s guest blog is by Renée Vos de Wael. Communication is something we do all day. It starts in the morning when you wake up and goes on until you have brushed your teeth and switched off the light to enjoy a blissful nights rest. It is interesting to watch how you communicate throughout the whole day—with yourself and others. Have you ever taken the time to be your own observer? To do so in an unbiased way is challenging to say the least. I know. I gave myself the task to pay close attention to the words I use during the day—and was surprised by the results. It took me a couple of tries not to judge myself. It started out with simple things. For example, I walked out the door and was almost to the car when I realized that I had forgotten my phone. I had to go back inside to get it and while walking back I noticed the conversation I was having with myself. “Why are you always forgetting something? You must be a real idiot to forget such simple things.” All this negative self-talk going on inside my head just because I forgot my phone. “Really?” I had to stop and ask, “Is it necessary to be so harsh with myself?” Another moment of self-observation was while doing homework with the kids. Coordinating homework for three kids is not my strong suit. As a kid, I always found doing my own homework hard because I never understood the purpose of it! So I find it a challenge to get my children motivated. After a snack and something […]
Stay Connected!