Our Scottish Fold cat, Holly, who tends to be pretty aloof, jumped in my lap as I sat down to write this blog. We had a nice moment of fully being present with each other. I thrilled in being able to pet her silky, soft black fur, the vibration of her purr, and the intensity of her golden eyes looking directly into mine. In that moment I felt love, joy, and appreciation. Yum! Those are the most delicious emotions! I’m now extending that moment—and the positive feelings it generated—by sharing it with you. I’m recalling the exact sensations. I’m re-feeling the experience over and over in my mind so I can accurately describe it. I’m filling myself up with that positive energy that will set the tone for and fuel my day, my relationships, and my self-care actions. This is a great way to boost your wellness. Not only does it feel good, but savoring these kinds of juicy and delicious emotions actually releases beneficial chemical processes in the body s that supports your body’s healing abilities—and can boost your metabolism. Feeling good is not only good for you—it can help you release the weight! How often do you consciously expand on the juicy and delicious moments in life? How much does that compare with the amount of time you spend thinking and talking about the problems in your life? While it can be beneficial to try to catch yourself in a bad mood and talk yourself into a better-feel state of mind, it’s an even more powerful to grab hold of a good feeling and run with it, making it last for as long as possible. And it’s easy to do. Just pay […]
Opening Your Heart to the Body—and Life—You Really Want
Opening Your Heart to the Body—and Life—You Really Want One of my relationships is ending, and I’m being reminded of the opportunity I have to experience this with an open heart. What’s happening is that I’m ready to end this working relationship, but the other person is challenging my decisions. Even though I know this is the right path for me, I’m seeing my old default patterns of wanting to protect myself being triggered. This looks like: Needing to make the other person “wrong” Being righteous in my “rightness” Shutting down my emotions Feeling myself put up energetic “armor.” Wanting to just end this and move on. It’s all fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being hurt. Fear of being wrong. Fear of losing this person’s high esteem. But my going into “lock-down” mode hurts me. Quite literally. It keeps me stuck in negative emotions that are setting off cascades of harmful chemical processes in my body. It keeps me from seeing solutions and making decisions that will help this experience be of benefit to both of us. It keeps me from being Who I truly am—and want to be. Even though I know better, there’s a part of me that wants life to only be happy and feel good. It’s the belief that if I can evolve enough spiritually, or get out of my ego enough, or be loving enough that nothing “bad” will ever happen. Shazam! The magic wand will have been waved and the perfectly smooth path to everything I want will appear. If you didn’t already know, I’m sorry to inform you that life doesn’t work that way. And it’s not supposed to! There is a reason we have ALL the emotions that we do. It’s […]
You Have to Do This Before You Get the Body You Want
I’m prepping for a VIP Day with a client, so I’m sharing one of my favorite blogs from the past. This may tick you off. You have to feel happy first. That’s right, to achieve your weight loss goals—you have to feel happy first. And while this is the premise behind the Law of Attraction, this isn’t just some woo woo notion. Science backs this up. Shawn Achor, a Harvard psychology researcher and author of The Happiness Advantage, says that pinning our happiness on achieving a goal actually hinders our progress. Instead, it’s being happy that help us achieve our goals. “Wait a minute,” you might say. “Isn’t happiness what you feel because something good happened? Isn’t “being happy” outside my control?” Every feeling is related to your underlying thoughts. And thoughts are made of energy, not marble. You have the power to change them. This means that how you feel is ultimately within your control. And you can choose to be happy—or not. Regardless of what is happening around you. One of the most amazing examples of this is Viktor Frankl who chronicled his experience in a concentration camp in the book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Even in the most dire circumstances, Frankl choose to look for meaning, and yes, even joy. If Frankl can do it while imprisoned and facing death, you can do it in the midst of your life. So why would you want to choose to be happy first, before you achieve your weight-loss goals? Primarily because you would feel happy right now. And isn’t that what you are truly seeking anyway? Imagine having the body of your dreams. How would having that body make you feel? “Oh,” you might say, “it would feel good. It would feel like accomplishment. It would feel like wellness and well-being. It […]
The Price You Have to Pay to Get the Body You Want
What if the price you had to pay to get the body you want—and maintain it!—was to: Be happy and joyful, and to have passion for life? Relax, have fun, and laugh—a lot? Tap into the core of who you truly are, which is pure and exuberant love? How willing are you to pay that price? If the answer is, “I’m in!” keep reading! (Even if your answer is “That’s crap,” keep reading anyway!) Chances are, you are not as happy as you know you could—or should—be. You aren’t getting a deep belly laugh a day. You feel stressed. Here’s the good news! You have the absolute power to make joyful your reality. (Really, you do!) And it’s easier than you think. And that’s the key word . . . think! Because getting that joyful reality has a lot more to do with your thoughts and beliefs than it does about the circumstances, people, and events going on in your life right now. And it has A LOT to do with what you are focused on. Are you thinking about, talking about, and seeing only the problem? OR Are you thinking about, talking about, and excited about the solution? If you don’t have the body you want chances are you are focused on the problems in your life more than the blessings—even if you think you are positive most of the time. Here are some simple ways to test where you are. With each question, rank yourself on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being Not At All and 10 being Totally. How often does your life seem hard? How hard is it to envision and describe what you really want? How […]
Change This 1 Thing To Get the Body You Want
What if you are exactly where you are supposed to be? What if this is true regardless of how much weight you need to lose? What if the weight is actually helping you become the person you most want to be? If you believed this, would it change the internal pressure you are putting on yourself? Would it help you ease up on your self-judgment and comparing yourself with others? Could you let yourself appreciate where you are right now? One of the things that actually blocks women from releasing the weight—for good—is that they very often compare themselves to others or where they thinkthey should be. This leads to self-doubts, self-criticism, and frustration that you are not further along. What happens if you stop for a moment and really look at how far you’ve come in your life? Look at what you’ve overcome. Think about how much you have learned about nutrition and exercise—and about yourself—throughout this journey with your body. Contemplate how you have changed for the better. The experiences you had yesterday have added to Who you are. Even reading this blog is giving you the opportunity to expand and evolve. How different does that feel? How much more empowering is that new feeling? Even if you have regained 20, 30 (or more) pounds, are heavier than you want, and feel like you’ve lost ground—you haven’t. You’ve gathered information that will help you move towards your weight-loss goals. That time and experience was not lost or wasted. Even if all you have is a clearer picture of what you DON’T want, that is valuable. Sometimes you have to know that before you can figure out what you DO want . . . and how to move forward. Comparing yourself to you versus someone else or where you think you should be gives you a much more accurate progress assessment. For instance, if you’re dieting, what you learned yesterday means you know moreabout how your body responds to food, what thoughts and emotions may trip you up, and what helps you […]
Slow and Steady Wins the Weight-Loss Race
What if you had a choice. You could lose all the weight you want in 12 weeks, but a year from now, you will have regained some—if not all—of the weight. OR You could slowly and steadily release weight over a year and you could keep it off . . . for good. Which would you choose? What if breaking the cycle of constantly losing and regaining weight could be yours—if you are willing to be a little patient. Would you give up your desperate desire to wave a magic wand and have the weight be gone? Would you relax a little bit and stop beating yourself up because you didn’t see “enough” progress, or the scale didn’t drop fast enough? For most women, slow and steady wins the weight-loss race. Just consistently making those small decisions to move in the direction of who you want to be will help you achieve the body you want. This is true for my clients. And it was true for me. Within one year, I went from wearing a size 8 and running and working out regularly to busting out of size 14 pants and not working out at all. And I was really struggling with getting back on track. While I hated where I was, I just couldn’t seem to find the energy to pull myself out of bed in the morning and move. Three things were key to my turning around that situation. I let go of thinking I had to release the weight overnight. Instead, I went for slow and sustainable changes. I asked for and received support. I counted every single thing I did that could even be remotely considered part of a […]
One Simple Way to Relieve Stress, Release Weight, and Improve Quality of Life
STRESS Deadlines, family emergencies, job pressure, money worries, illness—there are a lot of things that may trigger a stress response. As a result, you may feel tired and low energy. All you want to do is kick back on the sofa with a pint of ice cream and escape into the T.V. But how much better do you actually feel? When life feels overwhelming, often the first thing women let go of is their healthy diet and exercise. As you probably already know, making the commitment to eat well and exercise will actually help empower you to see the opportunities in the situation rather than be a victim of it. There’s plenty of science that proves that exercise strengthens the immune system, helps relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety, enhances self-esteem, produces more restful sleep, and helps people more quickly recover from adversity and better cope with stress. And you can start getting those benefits by committing to moving your body for just 10 minutes a day. That’s all great, right? You know you “should” be exercising. You know you “need” to get up and walk. You tell yourself that every day. But you are not any more motivated to get up. So forget all the health benefits. Let go of any guilt about the weight you “need” to lose. Stop making exercise “work” or “medicine.” Instead focus on this 1 simple way to relieve stress, release weight, and improve your quality of life. But here’s the thing. It’s so simple, you may actually dismiss it. You may think it’s too easy . . . or come up with all the reasons you can’t do it. But this really is the key. What is […]
Just Keep Going!
You’ve been struggling with your weight for a while. Now you’re finally ready to make the necessary changes to lose weight! (Woo hoo! You are on your way!) And you want the end results right now. (You just slammed on the brakes.) Or you’ve been making good progress . . . and you’ve hit a plateau. You’re frustrated and anxious to lose more weight. (Again you’ve just slammed on the brakes.) Your emotions are the equivalent to traffic signals. Positive emotions, such as hope, eagerness, contentment, appreciation, and joy are green lights letting you know you are moving towards your goal. Negative emotions, such as frustration, disappointment, desperation, guilt, and anger are red lights letting you know you have just stopped your forward momentum. This does not mean that your negative emotions aren’t totally normal. I get it. You’ve been suffering from body shame and you want it over. You’ve been doing everything “right” and you want results. Now. But here’s some tough love for you. You did not get where you are overnight and you will not get the results you want overnight either. Think about it this way. You would not get in your car and leave your house in North Carolina at 9 a.m. and expect to be in California the next morning. Even if you drove all night you would not get there and you would still have several more days of travel ahead of you. It’s obvious to you that the trip to California takes time. You’ve mapped out a route that you are confident will get you to California, but there could be traffic delays and detours. Or you may even want to stop and sight-see. And you […]
Love Your Body More Than Your Leftovers
“You have to clean your plate because there are starving children somewhere in the world.” Just about everyone has heard this, right? This is how our parents or grandparents often got us to eat—and to eat things we didn’t want to eat. How much is that belief limiting you in any way? Stop and really reflect on this for a moment. What thoughts and feelings does the idea that you need to clean your plate bring up for you? Now ask yourself, “How true is it that my cleaning my plate is going to benefit any of those starving children?” Logically, it makes no sense that your overeating will help anyone else. In fact, this belief can actually be harmful. Cleaning your plate teaches you to disregard your body’s guidance that it’s had enough, and eating too much food is at the heart of being overweight, which has serious health consequences. One of the things that holds us back from creating the body—and life—of our dreams is accepting limiting beliefs that we have picked up from others as truth. How likely are you to achieve something if you don’t even believe it’s possible? If you’re feeling stuck with extra weight, it can be helpful to look at the beliefs you’re holding and examine if they’re accurate or not. Let’s get back to the belief that you have to clean your plate. At the core of this belief is often a concern about wasting food. But the truth is extra food in your body is just as wasteful as putting it in the trash. You can either waste it, or you waist it. To reach your wellness goals, you’ve got to love your body more […]
Believe You Can Achieve the Body You Want!
Do you believe that it is possible for you to get to and maintain your optimal weight? Your answer will determine whether you can achieve it or not. Beliefs are interesting—and powerful—things. When they are in alignment with what you want, they can enable you to achieve things that others believe to be impossible. When they are based on inaccurate thoughts about yourself, other people, situations, or events, they can block you as effectively as a brick wall. Take running a four-minute mile as an example. Lots of people do that regularly now, but in 1954 it was believed by doctors and scientists that running a four-minute mile was not only impossible, it was physically dangerous. Roger Bannister saw those limitations as an opportunity, and on May 6, 1954, he crossed the finish line in 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds. Once he did it, others believed it, and less than two months later another runner broke his record. Running a 4 minute mile is so common now that just a few years ago, marathoner Patrick Makau averaged about 4 minutes, 43 seconds per mile, lowering the marathon world record by 21 seconds. Your beliefs will either propel you forward . . . or can hold you back. If you don’t believe achieving your optimal weight is possible, you may not even try to achieve it. If you do try, you aren’t likely to give it your all. There will always be a part of you holding back. It’s as if a part of you is sitting back saying, “OK, you prove that I can be successful and then I will believe it and then will fully commit.” But you have to fully commit to be successful! Not believing is like having the parking brake on and wondering why you are […]
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