When you exercise, do you love and adore your body? Are you having so much fun you wish you were doing your workout at other times during the day? Does moving your body help you tap you’re your sensuality and feminine power? In this provocative TEDx talk, Sheila Kelley shares how tapping into your feminine power can help you in every part of your life—including getting the body you want. The challenge is that all women have learned to be ashamed of your bodies. Kelley shares that every woman has a “First Offense” that brought negative attention, judgment or shame to your body. I vividly remember my “First Offense.” When I was 5 years old, my father told me I needed to learn how to suck in my stomach. Now at age 5, I wasn’t fat. But how I interpreted his comment was that he was telling me I was fat. He was telling me there was something wrong with my body. I was a tomboy who always had scabs on my knees from falls and crashes on my bike. Shortly after that conversation with my father I remember for the first time being embarrassed at how my banged up knees looked and trying to pull my knee socks up as high as they would go to cover them up. For the first time, I suffered from body shame. From that moment on, I focused almost exclusively on my flaws, and what was wrong with me. And for most of my life, I struggled with my weight. That was just the first offence. With every criticism or judgment we receive about our bodies as we grow and mature, we close ourselves off from our […]
Give Yourself Spiritual Liposuction!
Can you look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you” and really mean it? If you are like most women, this feels like a big fat lie. I know. It wasn’t too many years ago that I literally could not look myself in the eye and say anything positive. All I could see were my flaws. When I tried saying positive affirmations about myself or my body they would literally stick in my throat because they were such lies. Wow I’ve come a long way. Today I love my body—and myself!—and I love my life more than I thought possible. Now I know that to truly open up my heart to others, I had to learn to love myself first. Far from being the selfish act I thought it was, self-love gives you the energy and empowerment to be more self-less. And it is the key for getting the body that you want. Changing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs is like spiritual liposuction. As the Law of Attraction says, “As within, so without.” This is particularly true with your body. It was only when I did the inner work of changing my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about myself, what I was capable of, and what I deserved, that I found the solutions for me to not only lose the weight, but to easily keep it off now for several years. While a powerful exercise is to look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I love you,” many women can’t do it long enough to see significant changes because it feels like such a fib. So start small. Stand in front of the mirror for 3 minutes and focus on at least […]
Beyond Tragedy: A Wake Up Call
Many people are emotionally reeling from the events that happened Friday in Connecticut. In yesterday’s blog, I shared my deeply personal story about the self-healing power of forgiveness—even if we belief the actions of someone are unforgivable. Today, I wanted to share a blog written by my coach, Kendra Thornbury, that outlines how to move forward and create meaning during this challenging time. While these steps are particularly powerful right now, many of these are the same steps you will need to take to clear any internal blocks—including those that are keeping you from getting the body you want. There’s a deep cry that will likely go unheard and get lost in the reactions to the shooting. It’s the cry of the shooter. As horid as his actions were, to not look to the cause of such actions is irresponsible and, frankly, a disgrace to the lives that were lost. It’s imperative to recognize that what transpired is an outcome of a systemic problem. The awful outcry is a demonstration of fear based beliefs gone totally out of control. How do we move forward? How can we create meaning from this? It begins with accepting responsibility for how we each play a part in creating our world. This means… Take full responsibility for being an empowered, whole, at-choice member of our human family. No longer tolerate the kinds of choices and behaviors, even on a small scale, that lead to such eruptions. Raise your standards. It starts with you. 1) Eradicate the violence toward yourself. The truth is that most of us commit acts of violence toward our selves almost every day. You talk negatively, even violently, to yourself. You judge yourself. You tolerate […]
Love Your Way Slim
“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” -Lucille Ball Often, women who struggle to release weight are love-starved. Oh, you may have plenty of people who love and adore you, but you don’t feel loved. Perhaps you’re so afraid of being judged that you refuse to completely open your heart to others. Or you have expectations of how people should love you that aren’t being met. Or you’re so self-critical, that you believe yourself to be unlovable. Overeating is often an attempt to find the love you crave and fill the void in your heart with food. It is another way of looking in the wrong place to feel comforted and loved. At the root of this is the mistaken belief that love is something that is given to you, or that you have to earn or be worthy of. That love comes from outside of you. That expressions of love have to meet certain criteria before you will accept them as love. What many women don’t understand is that they are intrinsically valuable and worthy of love. That love is the very core of Who they are. Remember the infant you in your mother’s arms. What did you have to do to earn love? What conditions did you put on the love you were receiving? What did you have to change about yourself to be worthy of love? Regardless of what you have said and done in this life, what you have experienced, or how you have been treated, you are just as loved, lovable, and loving as the infant you. Allowing yourself to feel loved is key to […]
Look Again
What do you see when you look in the mirror? What are your thoughts about yourself? How much praise is there compared to criticism? Would you speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself? How would they feel if you did? Would it nourish or diminish them? If the majority of your self-talk it’s not something you would ever say to someone else, why is it OK to say to yourself? One of my client’s biggest limiting beliefs is that they are less than—less valuable, less important, less smart, less beautiful, less worthy, etc., etc.—than those to whom they compare themselves. The truth is you are unique. No one else in the world has had the exact experiences that you’ve had, or sees the world in exactly the same way you do. Your one-of-a-kind perspective adds value to this world. It is important to All-That-Is. There is a reason you are You. You are more powerful than you can imagine. You have the potential to have complete creative control over your life. All it requires is shifting your focus to where you want to go, knowing that it is an absolute fact that you will get there, and releasing control of how you arrive at that place. You are uniquely gifted. Your gifts add to this world the way an instrument adds to a symphony. Your instrument sounds beautiful all on its own, and adds to the whole when it is joined with others. Your instrument only sounds flat and out of tune when you are being less than who you truly are. You are resourceful and are much greater and wiser than you appear to be. The solution to any problem is always there if you will but take your […]
What Do You Need?
My body is letting me know that it needs gentleness rather than intensity. This is not my practiced inclination. But when I don’t listen to the subtle guidance I receive, it becomes much more obvious. Pain is pretty good at getting my attention. So for the past several weeks I’ve been moving my body gently—stretching, Tai Chi. I’m more focused on loving my body than testing it. Lately, I’ve heard many people talking about being more sensitive than usual, and I’ve heard many explanations why. What I know for me is that this is a time for observation, contemplation, renewal, and listening. It is a time to soothe my overstimulated nervous system, and to give myself the necessary peace to revitalize. I have to resist the temptation to yield to any sense of urgency. My muscles are not atrophying. My weight is not rebounding. My health is not deteriorating. In fact, I have the opportunity to create a new workout and wellness program, and to get to know my body in a new way. I am choosing to see any frustration I am experiencing as the desire to learn more, expand more, dare more, and create more. Contemplation is a part of creation. I have time to consider my options. To listen to my body and determine the direction that feels right to me now. To gather all the information I may need to start out on a new course. Sometimes, the best action is to be quiet and listen. Giving myself time to recover and figure out a new path is not familiar ground. In the past, my exercise switch had only two settings—off and on. Either I was working out at full intensity […]
Feel the Love!
This morning I stood under the shower and let the hot water pulse against my chest and back. It felt like an embrace from the Universe and I felt loved. Often, women who struggle to release weight are love-starved. Oh, they may have plenty of people who love and adore them, but they don’t feel loved. Perhaps they’re so afraid of being judged that they refuse to completely open their hearts to others, or they have expectations of how people should love them that aren’t being met, or some variation. At the root of this is the belief that love is something that is given to you, that comes from outside of you, that has to meet certain criteria before you will accept it as love. How’s that working out for you? To see lasting changes in your body, it’s important to begin to crack that shell and allow love to trickle in from alternative places—from All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you) and from yourself. It’s easier to allow yourself to feel Universal love when you begin to believe Einstein was correct when he said E=MC2. In other words, everything is energy. Where do you think that energy comes from? When you connect tactile experiences with Spiritual Energy, you can begin to feel them in a different way. The hot water of a shower feels like an embrace. The silky feeling of your blouse feels like a caress. The blankets enfolding you in your bed feel like a hug. Lean into those experiences and accept them as signs of love from All-That-Is. Another powerful way to feel the love is to begin appreciating yourself. Not only can you turn your […]
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