What if you knew you had all the answers? Often, the women I work with want to be told how to lose the weight—and live their lives. They want to give all the responsibility to someone else. They are giving away their power. The truth is, no one can lose the weight for you. You can follow all the recommended workouts and diet plans and they might work for a while. You may even meet all of your weight loss goals. But unless you change on the inside you probably won’t feel any different. You may even still look in the mirror and see yourself as fat. If you don’t make the internal changes, ultimately the weight comes back. You will not have found the freedom, joy, or happiness that you thought you would get from losing the weight because you are seeking those things in the wrong place. This is at the heart of why a significant majority of diet and exercise programs fail. The physical change alone is not enough. The change you are seeking must come from the inside. Truly, what you are seeking is In-Dependence. In other words, dependence on your own inner guidance and wisdom, which is linked to All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you.) And the irony is, when you become In-Dependent (dependent on your own inner guidance), the weight is easier to release—and maintain. You get the body you want. Your success, self-worth, and self-love is not dependent on anyone—or anything—else. The Source of freedom, love, wellness, appreciation, abundance can only be found inside. This means that you have to stop looking outside of yourself for people or circumstances to change, and instead seek […]
Wellness Tip of the Day
Wellness Tip of the Day: Do unto yourself as you would do unto others. Treat your body with love and respect. Say kind things. Take supportive actions.
Love Your Workout?
I just had the most fun workout! Does having the words “fun” and “workout” in the same sentence seem like a contradiction to you? That’s one of those limiting beliefs that is resulting in your holding onto the weight! Who said working out had to be a drag? Or worse? And don’t think that just because my workout was fun that it means it was easy. An hour later and my face is still beat red and my metabolism revved. I definitely pushed it. And I loved every minute of it! While I will share what I was doing, the most important thing is to do is find the workout that you enjoy. That you find fun. That you kind-of-wish you were doing at other points in the day. The key to moving your body consistently is to enjoy it. And consistency is key to long-term success. A stumbling block for many women I work with is that they think they have to take up a form of exercise that they hate. Depending on what your goals are, there are many ways to achieve the results you’re looking for. For instance, I know women who are in great shape who have achieved their goals by doing everything from walking, to yoga, to tai chi. Others have done Pilates, dancing, boxing, jump-roping, and even hula-hooping. And there are many more options. Experiment until you find the workout you enjoy. So what was the workout I did this morning? If you follow my blog regularly, you know I love dance walking. But heading out in the dark and cold—not so much fun. A couple of months ago a fabulous reader and fellow blogger introduced me to dance cardio on the […]
Blow the Whistle on Negative Self-Talk
I meant to get my workout in this morning. That’s not something I say often. Typically, if I set the goal, I get it done. Right on cue, my inner critic has shown up and started telling me that I’m lazy—one of its long-time messages. I’m blowing my internal whistle on the negative self-talk. When that part of you that believes that you are less than who you really are shows up, it’s important to take your rightful place as the Coach calling the plays of your life. Remind your Gremlin that it’s a member of your team meant to help and support you. I’m assigning my Gremlin the job of helping me get back on track. If I’m taking an unexpected rest day, then tomorrow I want it to encourage me to get up and get moving, remind me of my form, ask me if the weights I’ll be using are challenging enough, and push me to squeeze out one more rep. I want it to help me push past my beliefs about what I think I can do and really give my workout my all. One of the reasons so many people let that internal voice dominate their inner monologue is they don’t know their own power. They don’t realize that their Gremlin’s job is to help them, not hold them back. When you give all your power to the Gremlin, it gets a little greedy and controlling. What player left in charge of the team wouldn’t start to believe they’re calling the shots? What’s more, the Gremlin likes being in charge! This can result in a bit of an internal power struggle when people do start to claim the right to create their own […]
Love Your Way Through the Holidays—Part 3
While I’m in New York City, I’m sharing a four-part series on going from Halloween to New Year’s with balance, grace, and fulfillment. In yesterday’s blog, you looked at the things you are going to do to help you create the holidays you want, and developed a plan for how to achieve your goals. Today we’re going to look at how to keep yourself motivated to follow your play from Halloween to New Year’s. The number 1 thing you can do to help meet your healthy holiday goals is to seek support. Study after study shows that having at least one person support you in meeting your wellness goals will dramatically increase your chances of success. Having a wellness partner or joining a support group helps: Normalize what you’re going through—You realize that everyone has cravings, gets frustrated by the numbers on the scale, and has moments of weakness. You are not a failure or a freak. Cheer you on—Noticing and celebrating every sign of progress builds momentum towards successfully meeting your goals. Having someone to share these with helps keep you motivated. Problem solve—When you are focused on the problem, it can be almost impossible to see even obvious solutions. Having someone on your side who can see the situation more objectively can help you brainstorm ways around any obstacles. Make the journey more fun—going it alone makes it easier to get caught in the negative thought spiral going on in your head. Having a partner helps break the inner patterns so that achieving your wellness goals is more enjoyable. But where can you find help? Ask a friend or family member—Choose someone who is consistently positive, good at problem solving, and will be […]
How the Wait to Live Your Life Results in Weight
What are you putting off until you lose weight? Women I’ve worked with have been waiting to: Take that dream trip Take that class Join the gym Join that dating network Go to the beach/pool Buy sexy lingerie/clothes Apply for that job Start their business Take up a new sport/activity/hobby Etc. What if the wait to fully live your life is actually adding to your weight? There are spiritual, emotional, and core reasons this is true, but what it boils down to is being happier now gives you the energy to follow through with the necessary actions. Think about that. You want to lose weight because you think it will make you happier. But the key to lasting weight loss is being happier now. It’s a total win/win! But it can be hard to make the mental shift when you have been putting off your happiness for a while. How do you allow yourself to be happy now when your happiness feels so tied to having the body you want? Moving forward now can feel so scary. Here are some tips for moving through the fear: Think about all the reasons Why you want to do that thing you have been putting off. That can range from it just being fun, to helping you meet people and establish relationships, to helping you fulfill your life’s purpose. Think about how doing that thing will make you feel. Will it feel exhilarating? Exciting? Satisfying? Make a list and practice feeling that way right now. Recruit a friend or family member to do it with you. Ask for support from a Wellness Partner or coach. Recognize that you feel your greatest fear when you are about to step into your […]
Get the Body You Want Now—and As You Age
If you are like most women who struggle with their weight, you would like to wave a magic wand and have the body of your dreams just appear. You may also believe that aging is something that “just happens” to you and that ending up frail and ill is inevitable. You may not like hearing this, but both of these beliefs have you placed squarely in “victim mode.” Now I know you could probably point to all kinds of “evidence” of somebody you know being a health nut and dropping dead, or people you care about who ended up with an undeserved illness. Yes, unfortunate things happen. But most often you are focused on the worst case scenarios rather than the successes. You probably also know a grandmother who still runs races or swims, and women who are careful about what they eat—and think!—and look half their age. What makes you accept that the “worst case” is inevitable for you? “Well,” you might say, “more people seem to get sick as they age.” Or those people who are thriving “just have good genes,” etc. What if there seem like more examples of illness because you are focused on them? What if the majority of people who are sick now saw other people get sick as they aged, and just accepted that as their future? What if the belief that this is your inevitable future leads to choices that will result in that future? What if you have way more control over how well you age than you currently believe? Yes, there is the risk that you could regularly choose healthy foods and move your body every day—and still have issues as you age. But the chances […]
Be Happy First
This may tick you off. You have to feel happy first. That’s right, to achieve your weight loss goals—you have to feel happy first. And while this is the premise behind the Law of Attraction, this isn’t just some woo woo notion. Science backs this up. Shawn Achor, a Harvard psychology researcher and author of The Happiness Advantage, says that pinning our happiness on achieving a goal actually hinders our progress. Instead, it’s being happy that help us achieve our goals. “Wait a minute,” you might say. “Isn’t happiness what you feel because something good happened? Isn’t “being happy” outside my control?” Every feeling is related to your underlying thoughts. And thoughts are made of energy, not marble. You have the power to change them. This means that how you feel is ultimately within your control. And you can choose to be happy—or not. Regardless of what is happening around you. One of the most amazing examples of this is Viktor Frankl who chronicled his experience in a concentration camp in the book, Man’s Search for Meaning. Even in the most dire circumstances, Frankl choose to look for meaning, and yes, even joy. If Frankl can do it while imprisoned and facing death, you can do it in the midst of your life. So why would you want to choose to be happy first, before you achieve your weight-loss goals? Primarily because you would feel happy right now. And isn’t that what you are truly seeking anyway? Imagine having the body of your dreams. How would having that body make you feel? “Oh,” you might say, “it would feel good. It would feel like accomplishment. It would feel like wellness and well-being. It would feel like […]
Empower Yourself to Take Control
I caught myself mid-bite. We had been out to dinner with fabulous friends and had gone back to their house to play Sequence, laugh, and have fun together. And they had put out a lot of snacks. Cookies, candy bars, and bowls full of pretzels, dry roasted peanuts, and peanut M&M’s. We’d already eaten a full meal and had shared a dessert at the restaurant. As they put out the snacks, I joked with them that they were evil for providing such temptation. And then I continued to think that as I snacked away, along with thoughts like: “I just can’t help myself.” “If it’s in front of me, I will eat it.” “I have no self-control.” That’s when I realized I was in Victim Mode. I was “at the effect of” the food. I was giving away my power and indulging in behavior that was not moving me towards my goals. And I was blaming it on my friends, the food, my weakness, etc., etc. In reality, no one else was in my head. No one was lifting my hand and forcing me to put the food into my mouth. The food was certainly not having its way with me and forcing itself into my mouth. The truth is no one and no-thing is making you—or me—eat anything. Even when it feels like that cookie is moving towards your mouth against your will, it is still you doing it to you. Even if you are stressed out and are comforting yourself with food, it is still you putting the food in your mouth. Even when someone cooks a special treat and puts it in front of you, it is still you making the decision to eat […]
Stay Connected!