Some of the conversations I’ve had this week inspired me to re-post this blog. I am passionate about this topic! The Bathroom Scale! (Insert music from Hichcock’s Psycho here.) Chances are the scale is scarier for you than most horror movies. Most women I work with give WAY too much power to the scale. In your mind, not only does it measure how well you’ve done sticking to your exercise and eating plan, but it also measures your self-worth. Think about what you are doing. You are turning your self-esteem over to an inanimate object that is at best an inaccurate tool. How logical is that? Does having your car’s gas gauge read “empty” ruin your whole day? Do you post about it on Facebook and tell all your friends what a failure it makes you? Do you measure the air in your tires, and sit down on the curb and cry because it doesn’t show the number you wanted? When you figure out the average number of miles you drive on a gallon of gas and it hasn’t changed from the day or week before, do you tell yourself what an awful person you are—and go find comfort in a donut? Of course not. It doesn’t make any sense. So why are you doing that with the bathroom scale? Your value as a person is FAR greater than the number on the scale. By giving the scale the power to measure your value you are robbing yourself of the immense power you actually do have to get the body you want. The scale is just a tool—and a faulty one at that—that can be used to help you release weight. Using it consistently gives you a general idea of where you are your journey […]
Shhh! Your Body Is Listening!
How much love are you giving your body? If you are like most women, you are withholding love. You are demeaning and hateful in what you say and think about your body. You are neglectful—and probably even downright harmful—in your actions. And in many cases, you are demanding that your body prove its love for you by defying the laws of nature. You want to loose weight the instant you change your actions. When it cannot meet your unreasonable demands, you feel betrayed, let down, and frustrated. You think there is something wrong with your body. Somehow, you just got stuck with a lemon. How long would you stay healthy in a relationship where your partner treated you that way? When you look at your body, how much does it physically reflect how you treat it, and what you say and think about it? An important step in creating the body you want is recognizing that what you have going with your body is a relationship in every sense of the word. In fact, your relationship with your body is the longest—and most important—of your life. There is no reconciling from that divorce! Think about it a moment. The feet you are taking for granted–or resent for hurting–are the same ones that you came into this world with. They have literally taken every step with you. Your spirit is eternal, but this is the one and only ride for this particular body you have been gifted with for this life. Take a moment and assess your relationship with your body. Do you consistently feed your body delicious and healthy foods? Do you regularly move and keep your body active and flexible? Do you praise and appreciate it for how hard […]
Become In-Dependent to Get the Body You Want
A woman I was talking to recently wanted to be told how to lose weight. She wanted to give all the responsibility to someone else. She’s not alone. When you are looking outside of yourself for the answers, you are giving away your power. The truth is no one can lose the weight for you. You can follow all the recommended workouts and diet plans and they might work for a while. You may even meet all of your weight loss goals. But unless you change on the inside you probably won’t feel any differently. You may even still look in the mirror and see yourself as fat. If you don’t make the internal changes, ultimately the weight comes back. You will not have found the freedom, joy, or happiness that you thought you would get from losing the weight because you are seeking those things in the wrong place. This is at the heart of why an estimated 85 to 95 percent of diet and exercise programs fail long-term. The physical change alone is not enough. The change you are truly seeking must come from the inside. What you are seeking is In-Dependence. In other words, dependence on your own inner guidance and wisdom, which is linked to All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Coach—whatever works for you.) And the irony is, when you become In-Dependent (dependent on your own inner guidance), the weight is easier to release—and maintain. You get the body you want. Your success, self-worth, and self-love are not dependent on anyone—or anything—else. The Source of freedom, love, wellness, appreciation, abundance can only be found inside . . . you. This means that you have to stop looking outside of […]
Is This Keeping You Stuck in the Rebound Weight-Gain Cycle?
Which thoughts feel better? “I am so fat. I hate my body.” OR “This is just where I am in starting my wellness journey.” How about here? “I totally screwed up when I ate that cookie. I’ve totally blown my diet.” OR “That cookie wasn’t on my eating plan, but I enjoyed it and know that I can get right back on track with my next meal.” And here? “I only lost a pound. I worked so hard for nothing.” OR “Slow and steady wins the race. A pound lost is a definite sign of progress and just imagine all the changes my body is making on the inside that I can’t see, yet.” How you speak to yourself matters. Women who are stuck in the rebound weight cycle often are intensely self-critical about their bodies and weight. They say things to themselves that they would never say to anyone else. What if it is that very pattern of self-criticism that is keeping you stuck in the cycle of losing and regaining the same 30 pounds over and over again? One reason this is true is because each harsh self-criticism results in a feeling of stress that zaps your energy and makes taking future action even harder. Often you get caught in a negative spiral that is truly at the root of so many failed diet and exercise attempts. For example, if you miss your goal of working out and start beating yourself up, that makes getting in your next workout even harder. If you miss a second workout the resulting self-judgement compounds by 1,000. Pretty soon you’re skipping your workouts for the rest of the week, telling yourself that you’ll start again on Monday. But […]
5 Tips to Transform Your Mind to Get the Body You Want
How many times a day do you experience a negative emotion? Feelings like: Frustration at being stuck in traffic. Overwhelmed by how much you have on your to-do list. Fear about how you’re going to pay your bills. Impatience with how fast the line is moving at the grocery store. Irritation at how much noise your kids (or pets) are making. Dread over going to work. Regret about a past experience. What if every one of those negative thoughts and resulting emotions was keeping you stuck in the rebound weight-gain cycle? Because the reality is every negative thought and resulting emotion impacts your body—whether the thought is about your body or not. Don’t worry. A few negative emotional hits here and there are no big deal. In fact, if you’re about get hit by a bus, you want some fear to kick your adrenal glands into high gear so that you can get the heck out of the way. That’s how negative, catabolic energy helps us. It enables quick action during a crisis or dangerous situation. The problem is that the majority of people spend most of their time experiencing negative thoughts and emotions. In other words, they are stressed. They see almost all of life as a crisis that requires the fight or flight response. Over time, this negative catabolic energy begins to impact your wellness at the cellular level. Your body is not meant to deal with chronic levels of the stress hormone cortisol and adrenaline, and other stress reactions. This is why stress breaks down your immune system, overburdens your heart, and impacts your muscles. Over time, this prolonged catabolic energy can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks. It also impacts your metabolism and other weight-related systems making it easier to […]
3 Tips to BE Fit, Strong, and Slim
Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try. ~YODA What if your “trying” to release the weight is actually contributing to your being stuck in the rebound weight-gain cycle? The very idea is enough to tick you off, right? But what if mastering this one subtle but powerful nuance could make releasing the weight—for good—so much easier? What if it could actually make releasing the weight . . . dare I even say it . . . fun? Trying means you are using a lot of effort to get what you want. Trying means it is hard and you are having to struggle to overcome many seen and unseen obstacles. Trying means you are always in the process of getting what you want—you never actually have it. Trying means you can fail. What if, even stronger than Yoda’s direction to do or do not is to BE. Stop trying to get fit, strong, and slim, and BE fit, strong, and slim. Stop trying and BE the person you want to be. What does this look like? To BE fit, strong, and slim then you must: Consistently make the decisions that someone who is fit, strong, and slim would make. Reason like a slim person. Think like a slim person. React like a slim person. Embody a slim person. The most powerful mindset you can take to releasing weight is to KNOW you ARE a fit, strong, and slim person and that soon your body will actually reflect that. If you can reach for and accept that this is truly Who you are at your core and hold that KNOWING, you will be amazed at how easily you are able to release the […]
3 Tips to Redirect Negative Body Thoughts
One of the challenges with creating the body that you want is that you are always wearing the body that you have. It’s a constant reminder that you are where you don’t want to be. This makes sense when you think about the Foundation Principle that “Energy Attracts Like Energy,” also known as the Law of Attraction. Our thoughts are energy. If you are focused on the fat you DON”T want, or your lack of fitness or beauty, you will not only attract more thoughts like that, but more circumstances that support those beliefs. Getting the body you want requires continually tearing your attention away from where you are and focusing more on where you want to be. Only, this backfires if you don’t believe you can get where you want to be. So how do you mentally walk this fine line of being in the body you don’t want—and having to look at and experience it all day every day—but not quite believing you can achieve the body you really want? Particularly when you are so used to thinking negative thoughts about your body, you don’t even know you’re doing it? This is why a coach is so helpful. But ultimately, whether you have a coach or not, you are the one who has to navigate this mental path forward. So here are 3 tips: 1. Pay attention to your emotions. How many thoughts do you think a day? Hint: A lot! It will just make you crazy trying to monitor what you’re thinking. Instead, pay attention to how you are feeling. If you’re having negative emotions, such as frustration, overwhelment, hopelessness, blame, etc., these should be like signal flares letting you know […]
Being Thin is Mostly About What you Think
Do you ever have thoughts like: “I just can’t help myself.” “If it’s in front of me, I will eat it.” “I have no self-control.” I have a little tough love for you. You are giving away your power. And you are the only one who can reclaim it. What’s going on is that you are “at the effect of” food. These thoughts result in your indulging in behavior that is not moving you towards your goals. Often you may blame your feeling out of control on stress, or your partner who brought the “bad” food home, or your friends who put out the snacks that were so tempting. Oh, I get that these thoughts feel real. And they are! Because you have been thinking them for so long, they have momentum behind them. When you believe something—even if it is not serving you—that is your reality. It may sound harsh, but the truth is, no one else is in your head. No one is lifting your hand and forcing you to put the food into your mouth. The food was certainly not having its way with you. No one and no-thing is making you eat anything. Even when it feels like that cookie is moving towards your mouth against your will, it is still you doing it to you. Even if you are stressed out and are comforting yourself with food, it is still you putting the food in your mouth. Even when someone cooks a special treat and puts it in front of you, it is still you making the decision to eat it or not—based on putting someone else’s wellbeing ahead of your own. You have the power to take back control. […]
The Most Important Thing to Train to Get the Body You Want
What do you see when you look in the mirror? What are your thoughts about yourself? How much praise is there compared to criticism? According to a recent survey by Glamour, on average, women have 13 negative body thoughts daily and a disturbing number of women confess to having 35, 50 or even 100 hateful thoughts about their own shapes each day. Would you speak to someone else the way you speak to yourself? How would they feel if you did? If the majority of your self-talk it’s something you would never say to someone else, why is it OK to say to yourself? Don’t worry. It’s not just you. In fact, it may actually be more socially acceptable to insult your body than to praise it. According to Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., a Cincinnati psychologist who specializes in body image and helped design the Glamour survey, “It’s become such an accepted norm to put yourself down that if someone says she likes her body, she’s the odd woman out.” Kearney-Cooke says a big reason for this is that we’ve actually trained ourselves to think this way. “Neuroscience has shown that whatever you focus on shapes your brain. If you’re constantly thinking negative thoughts about your body, that neural pathway becomes stronger—and those thoughts become habitual.” This is why you have to transform your mind to get the body you want. One of my client’s biggest thought patterns is that they are less than—less valuable, less important, less smart, less beautiful, less worthy, etc., etc.—than those to whom they compare themselves. Retraining how you think is critical to breaking the rebound weight-gain cycle for good. One way to retrain your brain is to acknowledge the truth. The […]
One Small Change that is Critical to Getting the Body You Want
Do you single out specific parts of your body as flawed? Maybe it’s your stomach or thighs, arms, or breasts. Are these “imperfections” what you think about first when you think about your body? What if accepting your body unconditionally was the key to releasing the weight—for good? Often, the women I work with feel that by accepting their bodies, they are just telling the Universe that they are OK with defects that they desperately want to change. There’s a subtle belief that without constant vigilance, their weight-problem will just get worse and worse. The opposite is actually true. As Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” What this means is that when you are focused on your body flaws, all you see is more of the flaws. You have to change your thinking. You must actually lift your eyes from the problem and turn and look for what IS working. So if you want to love your body, you have to focus more on the parts of your body that you love. Accepting your body unconditionally eases your attention from your weight “problem” so that you can see the solutions that are right for you. But it can be challenging to shift your focus to the parts of your body that you DO find attractive when you have been focused intensely on the parts of your body that you hate. Begin with some self-talk. Tell yourself “I’m opening to the idea of accepting my body unconditionally. I’m letting go of judgment and accepting where I am. I’m letting go of comparing myself with anyone else, or jumping to conclusions about what anyone else […]
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