While I’m off having fun with my family, I thought I would share this past blog on stressing less to have more fun. One of my clients was recently giving herself a hard time because a week after moving to a new state and a few days after starting a new job, she wasn’t relaxed. In fact, she was downright stressed. I call this the Super Woman Syndrome. This is the expectation that you can—and have to!—do everything while always being happy and relaxed. How reasonable is that? Particularly if you are going through some pretty significant life changes? Now this doesn’t mean that you can’t go through a move and job change feeling relaxed and happy, but regardless of how many people can do that, your reaction is your reaction. So here are 3 tips to help relieve stress and have more fun. 1—Ease up on yourself, particularly in the moment. Notice your reaction, but let go of the self-judgment as much as possible. Beating yourself up for your reaction—to any situation—is just adding negative fuel to stress fire. It just makes you feel worse and will prolong the stress. 2—Give yourself a little perspective. How much of your day do you feel stressed? Is it 100 percent of the time or were there just some significant moments of overwhelm that colored your perception of your day? Start paying attention to how many good moments you are having. Begin to track just how much of the time things are going well, you are making progress, you are coping, you are feeling relief, satisfaction, gratitude, and even joy. You might be surprised that there are more of those positive moments than you thought. 3—Give yourself a […]
Summertime and the Living is . . . Busy
Chances are you have a lot on your to-do list. Next week’s holiday (July 4 will be Independence Day here in America) may be adding to your list of what you have to DO. It’s certainly adding to mine. We’re going to be heading out of town next week and I have several deadlines to meet before we go. I want to be as unplugged as possible while we are away, so that means taking care of a lot of business and personal details. I can feel my stress level starting to build. How this shows up for me is a feeling of anxiety. I become less present and am easily distracted. This means I make more mistakes, and therefore I have to spend even more time correcting them. I become less patient and so efficient with my words that it sounds like harshness, which impacts my relationships. All of this just creates a feeling of overwhelm. It creates a negative spiral. Sound familiar? I know I’m not alone in my stress reaction. It used to be that the first thing to be crossed off my to-do list would be moving my body and eating healthy foods. I just didn’t think I had the time or energy. Because I wasn’t listening to the message my emotions were giving me—and was neglecting my wellness—my body would force me to pay attention with an injury or illness. Once my wellness became my top priority, exercise and healthy eating stayed on the list, but they still felt like something I HAD to do. And my body could still have that backlash during stressful times. There is so much more to wellness than checking your workout off your “to-do” list and eating […]
The Number 1 Cause of Being Overweight. (It Isn’t What You Think!)
What’s the number 1 cause of being overweight? It may not be what you think. It’s not what you are eating or lack of exercise. Those are just the symptoms. It’s was causing you to reach for less than optimal foods and put off going to the gym. It’s also what’s causing your body to hold on to fat, so even if you are doing everything right, it’s why you may not be getting the results you want. What is this root of all weight gain? STRESS! But even this isn’t what you think. Stress is not the external things happening in your life. Stress is your reaction to everything that is happening in your life. Every negative thought and emotion releases a stress reaction in your body at the cellular level. Over time, this stress reaction can make it easier to gain weight—and harder to release it. Most women want to control outside circumstances to release their stress. You may think you need a new job, relationship, more money, more health, etc., etc., to decrease the stress in your life. As long as you are trying to change anything outside of yourself, you will never find peace—and you are only causing yourself more stress. This is why you may turn to food for comfort. But then downing a pint of ice cream makes you feel guilty—which just increases the stress reaction in your body. It is your reaction to outside circumstances that has to change! But if you are seeing something happening in your life as stressful, how do you change your response? Here are some ways to relieve the stress that you might feel. As you find better ways to cope, you […]
How to Reduce Your Stress to Release the Weight
I’m too busy to workout. I don’t have time to eat healthy foods. I’m too stressed to take care of me. Stress! It’s making you fat. Not only does it impact your ability to make wise wellness choices and often cause you to turn to food for comfort, but it literally destroys your body at the cellular level. Science shows that the stress reaction releases cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that over time can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks. And yes! Chronic stress makes it easier to gain and harder to release weight. Feelings such as despair, being overwhelmed, fear, distress, distrust, frustration, and anger are signs of stress. Being in a stressed emotional state impacts your mind’s ability to think creatively, generate ideas, or even recognize solutions. Everyone has stress in their lives, and most people say they want less stress. But what people really want is to have less of a “stress reaction” to the things that are occurring in their lives and zapping their energy—or causing them to turn to food for comfort. You may believe that stress is created by the situation you are in and that you are powerless to do anything but get through the stressful situation as best as you can. But this isn’t true. “Stress isn’t something that happens to someone. It’s something someone feels about what’s happening. Your capacity to deal with any outer situation is based on your inner perspective. . . How we see ourselves determines everything.” –Bruce D. Schneider How do you see yourself in the stressful situation you are in? Chances are, you may see yourself as either overworked, limited, tired, overwhelmed, unappreciated, a […]
How to Achieve Victory Over Stress Eating
I’m celebrating a small victory today! Yesterday, I didn’t give in. And it wasn’t even that hard. The primary place where I still deal with emotional eating is when I’m on deadline. The stress from being under the gun makes me want to chew. My desire is to reach for crunchy, salty foods like popcorn and nuts. One of the reasons it’s taken me a while to address this spot of emotional eating is that I can rationalize that popcorn and nuts are not “bad” foods. They can still be part of a healthy diet. The problem is the underlying reason why I was eating them. In the past, the desire for popcorn has been so intense that it felt like I must give in or I will never be able to concentrate again. According to Linda Spangle, author of “Life is Hard, Food is Easy,” this is a classic example of “Head Eating.” Stressful feelings like anger, resentment, and irritation often trigger a specific desire for a chewy or crunchy food. Eating to cope with hollow or restless feelings like boredom, depression, or loneliness is “Heart Eating,” and is where an unspecific craving for comforting, soft and creamy foods is experienced. Think of standing in front of the fridge wondering what it is you want. The answer might be something like ice cream, candy, mashed potatoes, or macaroni and cheese. Neither of these types of emotional eating is choosing delicious and healthy foods that will feed and nourish your body. You may tell yourself you are eating because you are hungry, or that you love food, but are you really? The true taste of food only lasts for the first few bites. After […]
Self-Soothing vs. Self-Medicating
I still self-medicate with food. When I’m writing and have deadline stress, all of a sudden I feel like I “need” popcorn. It is irrational and powerful and does not let up until I eat some popcorn. So often, overeating is about what’s happening on the inside. It’s reaching for food when you are really seeking love, acceptance, happiness, or comfort in the face of a difficult situation or relationship. My coach has helped me discover that my “pressure cooker” feelings of deadline stress are old limiting beliefs about what I’m capable of. It’s the tyrant inside me—who I have quieted in so many areas of my life—who is still bullying me to perform and be “perfect.” I’m coming up with ways to self-soothe rather than self-medicate with food. I wanted to share this blog by Dr. Anne Nanmoum because I thought she did a fabulous job of describing the difference between self-soothing and self-medicating those painful emotions you may be avoiding by reaching for your favorite comfort food. After a particularly stressful day, a friend of mine noticed that she came home from the grocery store with several items she would not normally buy: a wine cooler, an apple pie, and a gallon of ice cream. “If I keep up with this, I will end up fat and miserable as well as stressed out!” She realized that she needed to come up with a better approach to handling her stress, including ways to “self-soothe” rather than “self-medicate.” The ability to self-soothe rather than self-medicate in the face of stress, anxiety, boredom, or other uncomfortable emotions is an important skill for healthy living. When we don’t have good strategies for self-soothing, we may […]
Take Five to Transform Holiday Stress
“Stress isn’t something that happens to someone. It’s something someone feels about what’s happening. Your capacity to deal with any outer situation is based on your inner perspective. . . How we see ourselves determines everything.” —Bruce D. Schneider There is a lot about the holidays that can impact people’s wellness. One of the biggest culprits is stress. Holiday stress can come from overeating, or feelings of depression or overwhelment, or challenging relationships, or just too much on your to-do list. Now I’m going to be perfectly honest and authentic with you. I’ve been stressed the last couple of weeks. Oh, it wasn’t the holidays. I’ve learned how to manage getting ready for the holidays in a healthy and balanced way. None-the-less, for the first time in two years, I found myself stressed and I didn’t listen to my body when it was telling me to slow down. As a result, I’m just now getting over a cold that I had for weeks. Believe me, the irony of that was not lost on me every day when I was writing my blogs! The thing is, your wellness and finding balance in your life is never done. You’re not likely get to a place where you can slap your hands together and say, “Woo hoo! I can check wellness off my list of things to do. Thank goodness I’ll never have any more stress again.” New things will come along that you have to make adjustments for and that require re-finding your balance. That is part of the evolution of life. So what threw me into serious stress mode? It was taking my business to the next level by launching my new brand and […]
Take Care of You to Take Care of Others
Yesterday’s events in Connecticut may have left you reeling emotionally. While it may feel selfish, now more than ever you need to focus on your own self-care. This includes gently moving your body, getting enough rest, reaching for some highly nutritious foods, and taking some quiet time for meditation, prayer, or reflection. And the number one thing you can do for your own wellness? Ask for the support you need. You may want to go it alone. You may not feel comfortable asking for help. You may be embarrassed by your emotions. Much of holiday stress is feeling like you are in this alone. And that’s a really tough, and painful road. This is not the time to tough it out by yourself. Study after study shows that having at least one person support you in meeting your wellness goals will dramatically increase your chances of success. Having support helps you: Normalize what you’re going through—You realize that everyone gets emotionally stressed, overwhelmed, overeats, and has moments of weakness. You are not a failure or a freak. Notice and honor what you are doing for your self-care—Having someone to share the positive steps you are taking helps keep you motivated to take more steps. Problem solve— You’ve got someone on your side who can see your situation more objectively and can help you brainstorm ways around any obstacles. Re-find your inner peace—going it alone makes it easier to get caught in the negative thought spiral going on in your head. Having support helps break the inner patterns enabling you to refocus on the present and the blessings you have in your life. Where can you find help? Ask a friend or family member—Choose someone who is […]
Super Woman is in the Way of Getting the Body You Want
This summer, one of my clients was giving herself a hard time because a week after moving to a new state and a few days after starting a new job, she wasn’t relaxed. In fact, she was downright stressed. I call this the Super Woman Syndrome. This is the expectation that you can—and have to!—do everything while always being happy and relaxed. How reasonable is that? Particularly if you are going through some pretty significant life changes? Super Woman Syndrome seems to turn into an epidemic during the holidays. All the shopping, decorating, socializing, cooking, sending out holiday cards—the list goes on and on. Or you may be trying to make everything perfect—for yourself or for others. It can leave you wiped out, particularly if you feel like you have to do it all yourself. Super Woman Syndrome impacts your overall wellness—and how easily you are able to get the body you want. During the holidays, exercise and sleep—those good solutions for stress and fatigue—may take a back seat to chores and errands. I know. Just to be totally open and authentic with you fabulous readers, I am experiencing Super Woman Syndrome right now, as well. Oh, I have the holidays in hand, but my business is ramping up this week with the launch of my new website, LoveYourWaySlim.com, and a tele-class I’m giving for Impact ADHD, both happening on Thursday, as well as the January 7 launch of a new coaching program and the planning of a Love Your Way Slim Beach-side Retreat in April. I am feeling the stress and my body is letting me know that my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are not supporting me as I step into this new level of […]
What Do You Think About the Body You Want?
“Dis-moi ce que tu manges, je te dirai ce que tu es.” –Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, (1826) Translation: Tell me what you eat and I will tell you what you are. The idea that to be fit and healthy you need to eat good food has been around a while. But an even older concept is the idea that we are what we think. “We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.” –Buddha (c. 563 BCE to 483 BCE) What if both are true? What if the thoughts you think are just as important to your getting the body you want as the food you eat? For most people that feels like a stretch, but science is backing this up. Stress is being found to be the root cause of a number of illnesses. And while you think stress is something that happens to you because of the people, situations or events going on in your life, stress is really a result of what you think. “Stress isn’t something that happens to someone. It’s something someone feels about what’s happening. Your capacity to deal with any outer situation is based on your inner perspective. . . How we see ourselves determines everything.” –Bruce D. Schneider Your negative thoughts—about yourself, your abilities, what you deserve, about everything—generates catabolic energy that releases the stress hormone cortisol, adrenaline, and other chemicals that literally cannibalize your body. This chain reaction is breaking down your immune system, straining your heart, and impacting your muscles. Over time, this catabolic energy can cause everything from painful trigger points in your shoulders, to inflammation, to heart attacks. And it significantly impacts your metabolism […]
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