How many different ways are there to wash dishes? I know this seems off topic, but just take a guess. Got a number in mind? Was it more than 250? Unless you have heard me share this before, my guess is your number wasn’t even close. The late family therapist Virginia Satir is reported to have done research and found that there are more than 250 different ways to wash dishes. Think about that for a minute. There are more than 250 ways to get the same simple result—clean dishes. Too often, we believe that there is only one “right” way to do things. Instead of valuing and appreciating the other 249 ways, we dismiss them, or actually criticism them. We may demand that something be done the “One Right Way.” I know that I have been on both the giving and receiving end of this “One Right Way” mindset, and neither perspective is very much fun. An area where this “One Right Way” mindset is rampant is weight loss. How often have you been besieged by a friend who has found THE “One Right Way” to diet or exercise, and they practically beat you about the head in an effort to get you to try it, too? (And yes, I may have been that friend!) But let’s think about it a minute. If there are 250 ways just to clean dishes, how many different ways do you think there are to eat healthy foods and effectively move your body? What makes you think there is just one solution that is right for every body? If there was, I would submit that we wouldn’t have so much expert disagreement about the “One Right Way” […]
Go from Grumbling to Gratitude
Do you ever catch yourself grumbling or complaining about what someone else did or didn’t do? By comparison, how much time do you spend thinking about all the wonderful qualities that person has, and how much they add to your life? What focus do you have more consistently? What would happen if you spent more time looking at them through a positive lens? How would it make you feel to spend as little as a minute every day feeling grateful for that person? That might look like appreciating their wonderful qualities, or the things they did that were helpful, or why they are in your life, or their general and inherent value as a person on this planet. (And they have inherent value, I promise.) Just one minute a day. How might even that small shift in focus alter how you feel? How might it impact how you show up in the relationship? How might that shift change the dynamics of the relationship for the better? No one else is with you in your mind. No one is forcing you to think or feel anything. If you are holding on to frustrations and irritations it is because you have your mental fist grasped tightly around thoughts of their infractions, weakness, or imperfections. And it is because you are judging them as weak, imperfect, and full of fault. Who made you creator of the rules? Why is it that everyone else must cater to your expectations? How do you like trying to fulfill other people’s expectations and beliefs about the “right” way to do anything? The solution is to begin to allow those things that frustrate and irritate you to run through your mind like water […]
Are You Doing It the “One Right Way?”
The late family therapist Virginia Satir is reported to have done some research and found that there are more than 250 different ways to wash dishes. Think about that for a minute. There are more than 250 ways to get the same simple result—clean dishes. Too often, we believe that there is only one “right” way to do things—our way. Instead of valuing and appreciating the other 249 ways, we dismiss them, or actually criticism them. We may demand that it be done the “One Right Way.” I know that I have been on both the giving and receiving end of this “One Right Way” mindset, and neither perspective is very much fun. An area where this “One Right Way” mindset is rampant is weight loss. How often have you been besieged by a friend who has found THE “One Right Way” to diet or exercise, and they practically beat you about the head in an effort to get you to try it, too? (And yes, I may have been that friend!) But let’s think about it a minute. If there are 250 ways just to clean dishes, how many different ways do you think there are to eat healthy foods and effectively move your body? What makes you think there is just one solution that is right for every body? If there was, I would submit that we wouldn’t have so much expert disagreement about the “One Right Way” to lose weight. Or even what foods are actually healthy. Carbohydrates anyone? Anybody remember when butter was the biggest sinner out there and margarine was touted as the solution? I know people who are lean and sexy who eat a low carb diet, as well […]
Stay Connected!