I am getting a great reminder that I create my life and have responsibility for meeting my goals and intention to be self-loving—and loving to others.

Sometimes that means exercising tough love—to yourself or someone else.

It’s a lot easier to blame others when things aren’t going right.

Common excuses I hear about losing weight are, “If my boss didn’t make my job so stressful, I wouldn’t eat so much.” “The rest of my family wants to eat junk food, so I have to eat it, too.” “My spouse won’t do the program with me, so I’m stuck doing what I’ve always done.”

While these things may very well be true, shifting the blame to anyone or anything else makes you the victim—of others, situations, even the world. When you are in victim energy, you have no power to create the body—or life—that you really want.

It makes you blind to the path forward—even if it’s right in front of you—and zaps your energy for taking any step towards where you want to go.

Being the victim is enticing because it lets you off the hook. You don’t have to do better, try harder, or make any changes because everyone else needs to change first.

But you will never create the body you want if you are waiting for anyone—or anything—else to change. To get different results, you have to take responsibility for how you show up, respond, and the actions that you take.

Taking full responsibility for everything in your life means you have the power to change it. This is empowerment.

Empowerment doesn’t mean easy. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for someone else is to create firm boundaries, and to not accept the blame they are trying to put on you.

You are responsible for your life. They are responsible for theirs.

Being firm in how you want to show up in life and loving yourself truly is one of the most loving things you can do for anyone who wants you to take the blame for what they are creating in their life. To find their own empowerment they must stop blaming you. By standing firm in your decision, you are leading by example.

Here are some tips to find the empowerment of taking full responsibility.

• Be honest in your motivations when dealing with others. You know in your heart if you are giving too much or are not giving enough. This is about taking responsibility for your body and life—not controlling others.
• Have compassion with yourself as you take responsibility. It will probably rock the boat for someone else. Remind yourself of your greater purpose and reason for stepping out as the best possible version of you.
• Be gentle and loving, yet firm. This is not about showing them how they are wrong and you are right, it is just about you moving forward towards the best possible version of you.
• Be willing to disappoint people. Ask your Higher Self (God, the Universe, All-That-Is, whatever works for you) to help you discern and trust that what is best for you will ultimately be what is best for them, too. You know you are hitting the mark if you are coming from a place of love and compassion.
• Don’t get caught up in the drama of the moment. Trying to be all things to all people is a waste of time and you will never get where you want to go.

To create the body—and life—you want let go of blaming anyone else and take full responsibility for you. See everything as an opportunity to move towards the best possible version of you.

Together we can do it!