I tripped an old emotional booby trap on Friday evening.

A split second of feeling judged by a woman I was talking with triggered a cascade of self-criticism. And I’ve been talking myself through the painful self-judgment all weekend.

Believe it or not, this is an old defense mechanism.

As a kid, I somehow came to the faulty conclusion that if I mentally thrashed myself soundly enough this would somehow ward off painful criticism from others.

This is WAY worse than having someone else negatively judge me. It lasts much longer and is much more painful than what anyone else could dish out because I know where all my tender soft-spots are.

The truth is I am loved by All-That-Is (God, the Universe, Source Energy—whatever works for you.)

All-That-Is NEVER has a negative thought about me . . . or you!

When I judge myself, beat myself up, see myself through anyone else’s eyes, believe that I am “less than” in any way, I’m telling the Universe that She is wrong.

That’s the reason self-doubt and self-criticism feels so darn bad.

Any time our thoughts and beliefs are in disagreement with what Source KNOWS, we feel bad.

Even though I understand this, I still woke up with the pain of this old mental pattern. Much of my weekend was spent in self-care and meditation to release this old negative energy.

In the past, a bout of this kind of self-punishment would result in my eating hitting the skids.

I would use food to soothe the pain of the constant stream of self-judgment that was playing in my mind like a background soundtrack. When you already feel like a failure, why even try to eat healthy?

I did do some overeating this weekend.

But the good news is that I also know what’s going on.

I may have to put some time and energy into reminding myself of Who I am and what I deserve, but I know the truth of that, too.

More good news! I do NOT have to be perfect.

I don’t have to be perfect in my eating and exercise to maintain my weight. And I don’t have to be perfect in how I live my life to be deserving of God’s love.

And neither do you.

Instead of working out this morning, I did a lengthy meditation.

I decided to play with the subtle thought I was feeling of my being a “failure.”

What would total failure look like?

In my mind, it looked like being homeless, relationship-less, without anything but the clothes on my back.

Who would I still be if I was a total failure?

• I would still be connected to and loved by Source.
• I would still be smart.
• I would still be strong, determined, and passionate.
• I would still be loving—even if others did not see me as worthy of being loved.

I would also still be fearful. So I talked myself through, “What would I be afraid of and how much of that is Truth.”

I would still be afraid of what others thought, but being stripped of everything meant that there was no real traction here. What they might think wouldn’t be the Truth.

There were many others that I walked through. The fears for my personal safety was the only ones that felt “real,” and even that could be elevated by calling on my Higher Self and Guides.

A feeling of peace moved over me.

And in that warm and loving place, I called on Archangel Michael to remove this particular booby trap, which felt located in my chest over my heart. I envisioned him removing this strange contraption—and felt a gaping hole left in my chest.

This Michael filled with healing and protecting white light that felt like a salve.

While it’s still a little tender, I know this particular trap will never spring unexpectedly again.

Where are your own emotional booby traps keeping you stuck in the rebound weight-gain cycle?

You will know when they have been triggered when you feel bad.

What’s going on inside of us is never about any other person’s judgment. It is always about our own judgment of ourselves.

Coach yourself through the worst-case scenario of the fear and discover for yourself what is the Truth.

Hint: If it is anything other than you are totally and completely loved and adored, it is not the Truth.

Together we can do it!