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(This is my love week! Not only was yesterday Valentine’s Day, but today is my 21st Anniversary to my awesome husband, David! I’ll be celebrating love through Monday. And I just want to say to David, I am so appreciative of  your love and support, which has been exceptional. You are my favorite person on the planet and I am thrilled to be sharing my life with you! I love you so much! Happy Anniversary!) 

How does it feel when someone withholds their love from you?

Pretty awful, right?

If you are like most women, you are withholding love—from yourself.

You are demeaning and hateful in what you say and think about your body. You are neglectful—and maybe even downright harmful—in your actions.

And in many cases, you are demanding that your body prove its love for you by defying the laws of nature. You want to be slimmer right now. After years of neglect, you want optimal wellness this instant.

When it cannot meet your unreasonable demands, you feel betrayed, let down, and frustrated.

How long would you stay healthy in a relationship where your partner treated you that way?

When you look at your body, how much does it physically reflect how you treat it, and what you say and think about it?

An important step in creating the body you want is recognizing that what you have going with your body is a relationship in every sense of the word.

In fact, your relationship with your body is the longest—and most important—of your life. Once you break up with your body, there is no getting back together!

How is your relationship with your body?

Do you ignore it? Are you constantly critical of how you look and feel? Are you neglectful in the food you feed it or movement you provide it, or worse, are you actually giving it foods or substances that are harmful?

Or do you show it love by choosing high energy foods, and providing it fun and joyful movement?  Do you give it support when it feels stressed or overworked? Are you noticing and appreciating every little sign that it is functioning well and is beautiful?

The good news is that no matter how you have treated your body in the past, your body still loves and adores you.

Every cell in your body is giving everything it’s got for you. In fact, trillions of cells are giving their life for you right now. Your body is absolutely and completely devoted to you.

It’s not your body that needs to change in this relationship. It is you. 

This may be hard to hear, but you have 100 percent responsibility for the physical results you have been getting.

It is you that needs to think about your body with love and respect, and say kind things to yourself. It is you that needs to change the foods you give it and the movement you provide it. It is you that needs to choose supportive actions.

It’s time to treat yourself as you would treat others. 

The first step is to decide that you want to show up differently in this relationship with yourself. Make a list of reasons why you want to improve your relationship with your body.

Then begin doing what you would do in any relationship to repair the damage. You might:

  • Shift the words you use when examining, or talking to or about your body. Instead of being critical, look for things to compliment.
  • Look for all the ways your body is supporting you instead of focusing on all the ways it’s letting you down.
  • Become more aware of how it responds to what you’re feeding it, and begin to choose more nourishing foods.
  • Pay attention to how much you move it—is it enough or too much? It will tell you what it needs if you will begin to listen.
  • Take the time for self-care. Meditate, get a massage, take a luxurious bath, sit quietly with a cup of tea, spend some time in nature–all of these are great ways to tune in to what your body is trying to communicate. Listen and respond.

Trust that your body wants nothing more than to have a positive, loving relationship with you and will knock itself out to respond to this change in how you treat it.

You won’t change the relationship overnight, but it won’t take too much time before you start to feel and look a little bit differently. Keep up the positive relationship and soon you will have the body you want!

Together we can do it!

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