As you may be aware, Friday is Valentine’s Day!

Whether this day fills you with resentment for the love you don’t have in your life, feels like a day invented to sell cards and flowers, or genuinely helps you connect with that special person in your life, I have a radical request.

How about asking “You” to be your Valentine this year?

While this may sound like I’m asking you to be selfish, the truth is you can’t truly love another until you love yourself.

Even the Bible advises this.

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

This does not say that you will love your neighbor MORE than yourself. It says love yourself and then love your neighbor AS you love yourself.

Somehow, this point has gotten wildly misconstrued.

Many women believe that it is wrong that they love themselves, or that they are not worthy of being loved. They hold the core thought that they must give every iota of love that they have to others to be of value.

But you MUST love yourself and find your intrinsic value before you can completely and fully love another.

When you give from your internal well of love without also filling it, soon you have nothing left to give.

You then grow resentful.

You want others to fill your well of love.

You expect others to change in order to show their love for you, or you believe they are being selfish.

But who is really being selfish?

Isn’t asking another to change to please you—to make you to feel loved—the more selfish act? Particularly when you understand that no one can give you what you do not give yourself?

So instead of asking someone else to change to find the love you are seeking, here is what I suggest.

First, tap into the ultimate Source of love.

To quote the full verse of Matthew 22:37–39

Jesus said to him, ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’

When you love God (All-That-Is, the Universe, Source Energy, Higher Self—whatever works for you) with all your heart, you will then feel the complete and total love that All-That-Is has for you.

When you KNOW that you are loved by the Creator-of-All because of WHO you are, because you are unique in the Universe, because of all the wonder you bring to the world, it is than easy to love yourself—and others.

Without you–or them!–having to change.

This quote from Neale Donald Walsch sums it up:

On this day of your life, I believe God wants you to know…

…that you are loved on this day for all the wonder that

you bring to your world with the gift of being you.

Hard to believe, isn’t it, that you are that special in the

eyes of God? Yet you are–and not because of what

you have done, but because of who you are. You are

God’s own creation, an expression of Divinity

in human form.

 

The fastest way to experience this is to be the vehicle

through which others see it in themselves. Each person

is walking his or her path and doing his or her best. God

knows this and that is why God loves you all. 

Self-love is not about conceit or thinking you are “higher and mightier” than anyone else.

In fact, when you are coming from a true place of self-love, it spills over onto everyone—and everything—else.

Bonus! Loving yourself generates positive physical processes that are not only good for your health, but make it easier to release weight!

Did you get that?

Loving yourself helps you create the body you want. 

When you recognize and acknowledge your own intrinsic value, you automatically see it in others. When you feel an abundance of love there is no need to limit the love you give in any way. When your internal well is full–and is always being refilled–there is no reason to hold any back or expect anyone else to fill it for you.

So my wish for you on this Valentine’s Day is that you make loving yourself your number one priority.

And then feel the swell of love that you have for others.

Doesn’t that feel good?

Together we can do it!